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“A caballo regalado, no se le mira el colmillo”. Seguramente hemos escuchado este refrán o alguna de sus variantes. Parece que con el mismo se quiere transmitir un mensaje de aceptación, de conformidad con lo recibido, por el hecho de que no nos costó nada. También se considera de buenos modales no cuestionar, mucho menos criticar o restar valor a lo que se recibe como regalo. Este refrán debe haber surgido en la época en que el caballo era un medio de transporte importante, por lo que se mercadeaba con frecuencia. Lo de no mirar el colmillo, o el diente, aparentemente se refiere al hecho de que la salud y edad del caballo se aprecian en su dentadura. De modo, que eso es importante si lo vamos a comprar, pero de acuerdo con el refrán, no debería serlo si lo recibimos como regalo.
No me gusta mucho este refrán. Sin embargo, creo que puede tener sentido, dependiendo de si regalamos o nos regalan, y de nuestro concepto de regalar.
Pero, ¿qué es regalar? Vamos a la Real Academia Española (RAE): “regalar: Dar a alguien, sin recibir nada a cambio, algo en muestra de afecto o consideración o por otro motivo.”
Y “regalo: Dádiva que se hace voluntariamente o por costumbre. Gusto o complacencia que se recibe. Conveniencia, comodidad o descanso que seprocura en orden a la persona.”
Muy bien, se parece mucho a lo que me enseñó mi Madre. Y, ¿a quién no le gusta recibir regalos?
Los regalos vienen en muchas formas. Los recibimos en forma de artículo material, ayuda, tiempo, hasta una sonrisa puede ser un regalo. A veces no reconocemos que hemos recibido un regalo. Otras no no damos cuenta que lo hemos otorgado. En una época en que los buenos modales escasean, y somos tan poco apreciativos y agradecidos, es difícil tanto dar, como recibir ciertos regalos.
Por un lado están los regalos que llamo obligados. Por lo general están presentes en las llamadas ocasiones especiales, para quienes las celebran, como cumpleaños, bodas, aniversarios, día de esto, lo otro y lo demás. Son obligados porque, en primer lugar, el homenajeado lo espera, en ocasiones lo pide y en otras ¡hasta lo exige! Además, muchas personas se sienten obligadas a dar el regalo, ya sea por las exigencias del homenajeado, por uso y costumbre o por el qué dirán. Aquí como que nos salimos un poco del significado, verdad. Sólo un poco, ya que el significado de la RAE incluye que puede darse un regalo por “otro motivo” que no sea como muestra de consideración o afecto. Prefiero los que se dan por estas últimas dos razones.
Una parte del asunto que me interesa mucho es “sin recibir nada a cambio”. Después de todo, regalar es un acto voluntario, no es un derecho que podamos reclamar. Pero en nuestro mundo son muy pocas las cosas que se hacen sin esperar recibir algo a cambio. Entonces muchos regalos son condicionados. Condicionados a lo que me vas a dar por haberte regalado algo; a que cuando sea yo el homenajeado mi regalo será, por lo menos, del mismo valor del que te dí; a que me perdonarás alguna maldad que te haga u omisión que cometa, y sabe Dios qué más.
Los regalos también se prestan para competencia. ¿Cuántas veces hemos hecho regalos de boda o para recién nacidos, por poner sólo dos ejemplos, y vemos un interés desmedido en cuanto a quién hizo cuál regalo y cuánto costó? Eso le resta mucho a la buena intención del que regaló voluntariamente, de acuerdo con sus medios y como muestra de afecto.
Pudiera pensarse que los regalos materiales son los únicos que se prestan a ser obligados, condicionados o para competencia. Sin embargo, he experimentado que los regalos en forma de ayuda, colaboración, tiempo, y otros también pueden sufrir de esta contaminación. Por ejemplo, he escuchado a personas decir que si van a cuidar a alguien enfermo, esa persona tiene que aceptar su forma de cuidarlo como él o ella decida. Que si van a ayudar a limpiar la casa, o prestar otro tipo de colaboración, también es a su manera. ¿La razón? ¿Cuál va a ser? “A caballo regalado, no se le mira el colmillo.” Pero entonces, ¿cuál es el regalo? Si el cuidado o la ayuda no me benefician, aunque no me cueste nada económicamente, la verdad es que no me sirve de mucho. Posiblemente hasta me perjudique.
Por eso no me gusta mucho este refrán. No es sólo un refrán, es un concepto. Entonces puede definir a la persona que lo reclama como justificación para no dar un regalo de acuerdo con lo que debería ser la verdadera esencia de regalar: amor, afecto, consideración.
Los regalos materiales prefiero no evaluarlos y trato de no juzgar las intenciones del que los da. Pero lo cierto es que puedo recibir el artículo de menos valor monetario, y si percibo la buena intención, el buen deseo, ese alfiler y el aprecio me durarán toda la vida. Sin embargo, si recibiera el regalo más costoso que me pueda imaginar, y no viene con esa intención y deseo, no me va a agradar. Posiblemente voy a sospechar y en lugar de alegrarme, me va a entristecer.
Y ¿qué tal cuando ganamos o nos regalan algo como parte de una promoción y resulta que no sirve su propósito o su calidad es cuestionable? Ah, pues, la misma explicación: “A caballo regalado, no se le mira el colmillo.” Pero, ¿para qué lo quiero, si no me sirve?
Esto de los regalos parece depender de en qué lado de la calle nos encontramos. La actitud general parece ser: si recibo, quiero lo mejor posible; si doy, daré lo que menos cueste y más me reporte. Mi opinión es que si estoy en el lado de recibir, debo reconocer que son dádivas, no son derechos. Por lo tanto, no se esperan, no se exigen. En ese caso, “A caballo regalado no se le mira el colmillo”. Pero, si estoy en el lado de dar, no quiero esperar que el recipiente no le mire el colmillo al caballo regalado. Quiero tratar de que mi regalo sea el mejor, desde el punto de vista de amor, afecto, consideración y servicio o beneficio al que lo recibe.
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